From a discussion on zoom with Sujin Boriharnwanaket
A. Sujin: We live in darkness, not understanding what is there now, it’s just like a dream, not awakening yet, because of no understanding of what is there as: just a moment, very very rapid, it’s just like now, like seeing and hearing, there are many cittas in between, unknown. Even that which does appear is not the object of understanding clearly yet, because it’s gone. That’s why the understanding of no self has to be firm, developed from moment to moment, until it’s so great, so skillful that it does not move to anything else: just that which appears can be directly understood with direct awareness only.
So now we know that we’re talking about seeing but no direct understanding with awareness of that which experiences as not anyone, not anything at all, just a moment of conditioned reality. But that can be experienced only by high understanding, that’s why it needs the intellectual understanding to understand that: the object now does not appear well as it is at all, because of no right understanding of any of them yet. For example, touching now, no understanding that is only a reality experienced, and when is not the moment of experiencing hardness it’s not there anymore, but the idea of things, people, by memory, sañña, marks it and keep thinking about it as permanent, as always there.
Do you know that Khun John died this morning? If you don’t know you’d think that he’s still here, in this world, and that is only thinking, as long as any of them do not appear it’s only memory and marks and thinking about that, but actually, in reality, nothing is left, even this moment, so there is khanika marana, marana is death and khanika is moment, is momentary death, each moment gone completely, unknown. So we just know when someone dies that: no more, but even now is no more, whatever appears.
There are three kind of death: khanika marana, temporary death, and then sammuti marana, like Khun John who died this morning and then samuccheda marana, no birth after death at all, the death of an arahatta. So we can say that his was not samuccheda marana, because there must be birth, so we can say than now he is born already, after death. And each moment is like that: never to return at all, as long as kamma still produces result it goes on, until death, and then kamma again, another one, conditions the birth, instantly: patisandhi citta. Bhavanga and birth are the same kind of citta, conditioned by kammma.
So it’s not fearful at all, because while one’s fast asleep nothing appears, and patisandhi citta at that moment is not known, like cuti citta (death): just a moment, think about a moment and after that is patisandhi citta, it’s not fearful at all, it can be any time, because now there are many bhavangas: it can be the end of bhavangas, by kamma, any time, and patisandhi follows it, instantly, no gap in between at all, just like now. And this is life, birth and death, and before death so many experiences, but arising and falling away all the time, unknown, and keeping on thinking that it’s true, that it’s real, but nothing is there once it’s fallen away instantly all the time.
And this is the difference between sleep and wakefulness, as long as there is no understanding of this moment it’s just a dream, in a dream there are so many things but when one wakes up: nothing, because it’s just thinking about whatever appears, like now: thinking about what appears as something, all the time. And this is the way dhamma is, by conditions, no one there at all.
So this moment can be understood from intellectual understanding, and it develops on and on, not “I” but the sankhara khandha: the cetasikas which are sankhara khandha are now working, all the time, unknown, no one there, at this moment of hearing, and then there is the understanding, because of cetasikas which are sankhara, arise and fall away, unknown, and pañña, right understanding, is there. So what is there is just like what the magician makes up. So it’s just understanding, not thoughts about satipatthana or vippassanañana, since where are they? not now