You can consider me either a puthujjana or a sotapanna. My intention in writing this post is simply to connect with those who share similar reflections, discuss ways to navigate them, and progress further along the Path. I am seeking kalyanamitta, which, as taught in the Dhamma, constitutes the entirety of the holy life, yet so far, I have not encountered companions with an aligned perspective.
Regarding my current state of practice: I clearly understand that rites, rituals, and prayers cannot bring about stream-entry, and I have established unwavering confidence in the Buddha, Dhamma, and Sangha. I have also investigated the five aggregates, seeing that all conditioned phenomena operate through them, recognizing the inherent danger in identifying with them, and understanding the perils of rebirth even in the deva and brahma realms. When this realization first arose, a deep sense of joy emerged, followed shortly by sorrow knowing that those closest to me have not yet realized this and remain bound to wander in samsara.
Because of that, my aspiration to become a Sammasambuddha has grown stronger. However, I have begun to reflect on whether this aspiration itself might be a subtle form of attachment, even though the wish to attain it still persists. At times, I still find myself identifying with the aggregates, and occasionally thoughts of voidness arise due to not-self, even though my underlying view of a permanent self has ceased.
Whenever this feeling of voidness arises, I recollect the virtues and words of the Buddha, reflect once again on the danger of the five aggregates, and recall the profound joy I experienced earlier. I have come to recognize that this voidness stems from lingering attachment to existence, perhaps an ingrained mental habit built over countless lifetimes in samsara. Even with that awareness, moments of emptiness and subtle self-referential thoughts still arise, even while the understanding that the five aggregates are not-self remains firm.
For context, I am writing this neither to elevate my ego nor to seek validation. I simply wish to share my reflections and receive insight from fellow practitioners who have experienced similar stages.
This post is not meant for debate. There is no need to declare whether my view belongs to a puthujjana or a sotapanna. Please keep those conclusions to yourselves, keep an open mind, and focus on the discussion.
I welcome your thoughts, with the following posting guidelines:
For lay practitioners sharing an opinion, please state at the beginning whether your response is:
- Based on intellectual understanding
- Based on direct experience
- Based on the Suttas
For Bhikkhus offering guidance, there is no need to follow the three categories above.
Also feel free to ask any question, state at the beginning with “Question”