Buddhist Jokes You Want to Share

Internet Sattigumba

modern-sattigumba

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What does wheel/central mean … :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

(no need to say…haha…)

Why Western monks won’t attain Nibbana.

justbyname

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Admin note: please use this thread only for genuine jokes.

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_)

A good response to an nihilist!

An atheist was seated next to a dusty old cowboy on an airplane and he turned to him and said, “Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
The old cowboy, who had just started to read his book, replied to the total stranger, “What would you want to talk about?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said the atheist. “How about why there is no God, or no Heaven or Hell, or no life after death?” as he smiled smugly.
“Okay,” he said. “Those could be interesting topics but let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, but a horse produces clumps. Why do you suppose that is?”
The atheist, visibly surprised by the old cowboy’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
To which the cowboy replies, “Do you really feel qualified to discuss God, Heaven and Hell, or life after death, when you don’t know shit?”…

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My karma ran over my dogma!

I forgot about this funny phrase until I recently changed the description of this website to include dogmatic beliefs. Load up a private browser to this website and see the intro screen.

Those who argue against rebirth, continue to do so, in their next life.

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I’m a Born-Again Buddhist

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(This is a remote image… just paste the link on its own line and it saves the server from MB)

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FB_IMG_1667167533004

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“Singing is regarded as wailing in the training of the Noble One. Dancing is regarded as madness. Too much laughter, showing the teeth, is regarded as childish. So break off singing and dancing; and when you’re appropriately pleased, it’s enough to simply smile.” AN 3.107

emmagoldman

happymonksmeme1

thread posted to wrong group here.

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Here is the English link on Sutta Central:

https://suttacentral.net/an3.107/en/sujato?layout=plain&reference=none&notes=asterisk&highlight=false&script=latin

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Is this the Pali?

https://suttacentral.net/an3.107/pli/ms?layout=plain&reference=none&notes=asterisk&highlight=false&script=latin

“Ruṇṇamidaṁ, bhikkhave, ariyassa vinaye yadidaṁ gītaṁ. Ummattakamidaṁ, bhikkhave, ariyassa vinaye yadidaṁ naccaṁ. Komārakamidaṁ, bhikkhave, ariyassa vinaye yadidaṁ ativelaṁ dantavidaṁsakahasitaṁ. Variant: dantavidaṁsakahasitaṁ → dantavidaṁsakaṁ hasitaṁ (bj, pts1ed)Tasmātiha, bhikkhave, setughāto gīte, setughāto nacce, alaṁ vo dhammappamoditānaṁ sataṁ sitaṁ sitamattāyā”ti.

Pañcamaṁ.

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FB_IMG_1667169699776

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FB_IMG_1672210728532

Not canonical I know but still a neat joke.

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image

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Have to click on this to see remote Far Side comic strip image… (no preview)
A joke of Peter Pan and Wendy leaving the Neverland
It reminds me of monks disrobing.

https://img.ifunny.co/images/fe6d8460175d8d5125dcddf8d8f1d9b075b8124e4e60562455ae10be25e31a87_1.webp

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