Hi,
When I think of the worlds of infernal beings, ghosts and animals, I’m overcome with fear, because their suffering is immeasurable, and becoming a sotapanna seems to be extremely hard, even for a devout Buddhist. There are so many traps a Buddhist practitioner can fall into, so many obstacles, so many difficulties, so much contradictory and misleading information, and so much work.
I’m very afraid that I won’t be able to become a Noble, and so I’m afraid that I’ll end up being eaten away, destroyed, consumed and demolished by extreme suffering.
This strong fear strengthens my will to be a monk, but at the same time, I feel that this fear has a very unhealthy side, a darkening aversion to the mind.
But I remember that in the suttas, there were moments when great monks like Ven. Ananda and others, were in difficult times (Ven. Ananda mourned the Buddha’s death and seemed depressed and doubtful about his own capacity for enlightenment; another monk who was ill could no longer achieve good concentration, and was afraid of regressing). And the Buddha was encouraging to these monks.
What do you think I should do?
Thanks in advance,
May all beings practice without fail.