"Is Family Care a Form of Donation?"

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When we think of donation, we often associate it with giving to the needy, monks, or spiritual figures. As someone who is unmarried and earns money, I try to donate something every day. However, I notice that married individuals tend to spend most of their earnings on their wives and children. Caring for a family is a full-time responsibility, and they may not have the opportunity to make donations outside their household.

This raises a question: Do married people, who dedicate their resources to caring for their families, acquire the same spiritual merit as those who donate to others outside of their family?

For instance, a mother or father taking care of their children, children looking after their elderly parents, or a husband caring for his wife—can all of these acts be considered as valuable as donating to those outside the family?

“I am worried about my parents that they do not get the opportunity to donate every day. And they don’t want to donate, as from their Indian middle-class mindset, they always try to save money for their children and closer people. Also, they don’t understand the benefit of donation. I am worried, but as they take care of children, grandchildren, and relatives, if it will give them the same merits, knowing this will make me less worried.”

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Well here is chatgpt reply and it is pretty good…

You’ve raised an insightful question about the nature of “donation” and how it relates to one’s responsibilities towards family members. In spiritual and ethical terms, donation (or dana) is often seen as an act of selflessness, generosity, and compassion, regardless of whom it is directed toward.

Taking care of your family — whether it’s a parent caring for a child, a child caring for a parent, or a spouse caring for their partner — can indeed be seen as a form of donation. This care involves selfless service, sacrifice, and love, which are qualities that align closely with the spirit of generosity. In a sense, by fulfilling these duties with compassion and without attachment, you are making a donation of your time, effort, and resources to your loved ones, and this can be seen as an act of merit in the same way as giving to those outside your family.

In many spiritual traditions, the family is considered the first place where one can cultivate virtues like patience, kindness, and generosity. Caring for family members often requires a deep level of selflessness and effort. So, if done with the right intention — without expecting anything in return, with love and compassion — these acts are highly meritorious.

However, the key difference may be the intention behind the act. When donating to someone outside your family, the motivation is often more outward-focused — a desire to help others in need. In contrast, taking care of family members may come from a sense of duty, love, or obligation, which is equally valuable but can sometimes be seen as more naturally integrated into the flow of life.

Ultimately, both forms of donation — to those inside and outside of your family — can lead to positive spiritual results. They are simply different expressions of the same core values: generosity, care, and compassion. If the actions are done with a pure heart, without expectation of reward, and with a spirit of service, they can both cultivate merit and spiritual growth.

In essence, all forms of selfless giving, whether to family or others, contribute to the same spiritual goal of cultivating compassion, humility, and kindness. So, you can rest assured that the care and attention you give to your family are just as meritorious as donations made outside your family circle.

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For sure caring for ones parents is a great merit. As for caring for your children or wife, I would say yes but the not as great and it depends on your intent when caring for them.

If you see raising your kids or caring for ur partner as a responsibility you will likely get less merit. If you do it with an intent that is more genuinely about wanting the best for them that is more meritorious.

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