About metta meditation

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Can somebody help me with mettā meditation?

When I was following Goenka’s technique, after ānāpāna meditation I used to listen to his mettā song in Hindi. It created waves in my body, but my thoughts overwhelmed me. There was an overwhelming empathy that made me cry, and it became exhausting. I now understand that what I was doing was not really mettā meditation.

So can someone please tell me what mettā meditation actually is?

When I chant words like kalyān ho (may you be prosperous, may your life go toward well-being and benefit) or maṅgal ho (may there be auspiciousness, may everything be blessed and favorable), I feel peaceful. While walking, can I chant such words to share mettā? I smile and chant these words.

Please tell me mettā meditation techniques in detail, the way we know the steps of ānāpāna-sati.

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I think we should start in our normal life- do we have friendly thoughts to those we meet everyday or are we just having attachment or indifference or aversion.
If someone cuts us off when we are driving do we instantly forgive them and mentally wish them well - or do we silently curse them..
Little by little we can remember the teachings and change our attitude to our fellow beings..

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Yes but I also want to do it till 1st jhana level ….

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What I do I if someone mean to me …I try to forgive them . Obviously my mind makes to much revange scenarios but I now know this is bad and I will say ..i forgive u …may u find peace…

As doing anything intentionally will generate bad kamma ..even intentionally ignoring such person..

But I want to learn metta and want to stay in metta jhana

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well it has to begin where we are.

There are so many excellent reminders in the texts about the four Brahmavihāras and bringing these to mind helps us to understand the characteristic of metta and the others.
Like the Bodhisatta (this is about the quality of upekkha, rather than metta) when he was born as a prince and his father the King got enraged when his mother kept all her attention on the new baby . The King ordered the royal executioner to kill him to spite the mother. It is said the baby thought this is the time not to have attachment to my grieving mother or aversion for my ruthless father - instead he used that short time to develop equanimity. Culladhammapāla Jataka 358

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You can look at the visuddhimagga or Knowing and seeing By Ven Pa-Auk Sayadaw.
Goenka does not really teach mettā. He teaches feeling love. However, I think he says the phrases but does not really tell you that you should remember the phrases.

I have an outdated talk over here

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Ok bhante i understand now …mental or mind note is most important in any meditation ..

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Yes.. I think that that is the big problem outside of the Classical Theravaāda world. The focus is on real objects and often 5 sense based during the samatha phase of meditation. It cannot be like that. Samatha is a mind door only object. The sense prime the pump for a mind door object to be taken as paññatti, but should not be taken as real objects for samatha. The body should not react, it should be calm and in the mind, just like when you are in deep thought about planning something, or deep thought about a person you think well of and wish to be well and happy. The latter is closest mettā if done correctly.

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What is the reason we give metta to ourselves??..

What understanding is behind that ??

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Dhamma Greetings.

If you would like to learn the way I have learned that helped me. I can explain in detail. If you read this book first; A flower called mettā by AJahn ChatChai. I have read more works of his that are not public. His work is close to the commentaries. I found his teachings very helpful, though will need some time to write out the proceedures if you wish. But if you would like to read that book first, I can help you further with his method. It is a very good method that helps break attachments.

Secondly, in my own practice I used the 4 protective meditations which metta is one. (comprising Metta (loving-kindness), Buddhānussati (recollection of the Buddha’s virtues), Asubhasaññā (contemplation of the body’s repulsiveness), and Maraṇassati (recollection of death) – though asuba you would be wise to gain assistance from a teacher in person.

They all help each other, I first really paid attention to them from a line from Venerable Mahasi Sayadaw. I learnt Buddhanusati from the suttas and the Vimuttimagga.

Also learning some sutta sections on metta and jhana similes is helpful.

Practice metta everyday for a period for some months, it has to be consitent and needs to follow a method. Ajahn ChatChai gives a series of practices to all go together.

Metta and breath, metta and walking meditation. Metta/brahmavihara before meditations to all directions. Metta everyday. We need to work very hard to develop metta.

I have to go now, but can talk another time.

All good wishes

Bhikkhu K

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Ok bhante ..I definitely read this book and discuss more

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Start with Metta sutta: memorise the thought section and recite it mentally and recite it as much as you like. Then based on 5 precepts which bring freedom from fear and suffering to yourself and others you can’t go wrong.

Lovingkindness

(Metta Sutta)

This is what should be done by one who wishes to realize and live in peace: He should be capable, upright and perfectly honest, easy to admonish, gentle and not conceited, content with whatever he has and easy to support, not busy and have few possessions, calm, wise, well-mannered and not attached to lay supporters, and he should not perform even the smallest act of misconduct for which he would be blamed by the wise.

His thoughts should be:

“May all beings live in happiness and peace, may all beings experience happiness”.

“Whatever beings there may be without exception, the feeble, or the strong, the long, large, medium, short, small and minute, those I have seen and those I have never seen, those living far away and those living nearby, those who are born and those who are yet to be born; may all beings experience happiness”.

Let him not deceive another or despise anyone whatsoever in any place. Let him not wish harm to another because of ill-will or dislike.

Just as a mother would give her life to protect her only child, in the same way let him develop an unlimited mind of loving-kindness towards all beings.

And let him develop an unlimited mind of loving-kindness radiating to the whole universe, above, below, and across, without limit, without enmity, without ill-will.

Whether standing, walking, sitting or lying down; for as long as he is free from sloth, being established in constant mindfulness of loving-kindness, this is said to be the best way to live.

Without taking up wrong views, being virtuous and possessed of insight, he whose attachment to sense pleasures has been removed, he will never be reborn again.

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It is taken as an example that as we wish to be happy so too all beings.

Vism Ix: 8. First of all it should be developed only towards oneself, doing it repeatedly thus: “May I be happy and free from suffering” or “May I keep myself free from enmity, affliction and anxiety and live happily.”
9. If that is so, does it not conflict with what is said in the texts? For there is no mention of any development of it towards oneself in what is said in the Vibhaòga: “And how does a bhikkhu dwell pervading one direction with his heart filled with loving-kindness? Just as he would feel loving-kindness on seeing a dearly loved person, so he pervades all beings with loving-kindness” (Vibh 272); and in what is said in the Paþisambhidá: “In what five ways is the mind-deliverance of loving-kindness [practiced] with unspecified pervasion? [..]
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11. It does not conflict. Why not? Because that refers to absorption. But this [initial development towards oneself] refers to [making oneself] an example. For even if he developed loving-kindness for a hundred or a thousand years in this way, “I am happy” and so on, absorption would never arise. But if he develops it in this way: “I am happy. Just as I want to be happy and dread pain, as I want to live and not to die, so do other beings, too,” making himself the example, then desire for other beings’ welfare and happiness arises in him.

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An antidote to anger. While reflecting on the nature of reality no ill will for any supposed act or slight by another can arise:

visuddhimagga. ix 38

he should try resolution into elements. How? “Now, you who have gone forth into homelessness, when you are angry with him, what is it you are angry with? Is it head hairs you are angry with? Or body hairs? Or nails? … Or is it urine you are angry with? Or alternatively, is it the earth element in the head hairs, etc., you are angry with? Or the water element? Or the fire element? Or is it the air element you are angry with? Or among the five aggregates or the twelve bases or the eighteen elements with respect to which this venerable one is called by such and such a name, which then, is it the materiality aggregate you are angry with? Or the feeling aggregate, the perception aggregate, the formations aggregate, the consciousness aggregate you are angry with? Or is it the eye base you are angry with? Or the visible-object base you are angry with? … Or the mind base you are angry with? Or the mental-object base you are angry with? Or is it the eye element you are angry with? Or the visible-object element? Or the eye-consciousness element? … Or the mind element? Or the mental-object element? Or the mind-consciousness element you are angry with?” For when he tries the resolution into elements, his anger finds no foothold, like a mustard seed on the point of an awl or a painting on the air.

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Just like the heart vs. brain memes that depict emotions originating from the heart—which we intuitively understand “in our hearts” as something we get a “gut feeling” about—the same can be said for the age-old adage, >“You have to love yourself before you can love others.”

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If you don’t need to start that way then don’t. But generally it is used to develop empathy by realising that all beings want to be happy just like you want to be happy.

You just need to find a pattern of thinking that establishes loving kindness and thoughts of goodwill in your own heart. Sometimes is even helps to start from a point of forgiveness of yourself and others. You can even take a thought from another religion is you want. “Forgive them for they know not what they do.” That is quite a powerful thought just in itself.

You can play around with patterns that work for you. It is all good thinking and even get creative with what resonates for you.

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Yes sometimes I see some forgiveness quotes no matter what religion and it makes me peaceful..

As for starting point I will try to give metta myself.. but when I give metta to my parents or monks from monestry I feel good …so may be that ….

Thanks